


Unfortunate

by Quasi_a_la_Modo



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Diary/Journal, Drama, Gen, Teenage Drama, but it's just a theory, conspiracy theories are fun, olaf isn't too bad, shenanigans are afoot at prufrock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 22:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14903717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quasi_a_la_Modo/pseuds/Quasi_a_la_Modo
Summary: Lemony Snicket comes across the Diary of Count Olaf during his time at Prufrock Preparatory School. Though he's known as a monster in the book series, constantly trying to kill off the Baudilaires, perhaps his origins are a little more...human than one would admit.





	Unfortunate

"Unfortunate" is a word which refers to the bad luck that follows an individual. It could be as simple as someone opening a bag of candy, hoping to enjoy a nice piece of caramel filled chocolate and instead finding it full of leeches. It could also well describe the circumstances in which a man with hooks for hands would find himself in, should he be in the process of trying to open a door. It is unfortunate that the handle, though normally a lever of sorts, in this case was a perfect sphere.

Unfortunate in this case means a pitying, worrying feeling, such as a southern-bell who says that it’s “so unfortunate that my guests must leave tonight.” Unfortunate, in this case, means that all those involved feel an awkwardness within the situation, palpable to the palate, but unable to be ignored due to its inherent fascination.

It was unfortunate that on the other side of this door, the hook handed man could hear Count Olaf, his employer, crying.

Count Olaf is not someone who normally deserves our pity, dear reader. It is unfortunate that I must tell you now that it is indeed pity that drove the hook handed man to Olaf’s door. It is unfortunate that I must relate to you why a certain Count Olaf is in such a melancholic state, melancholic meaning to feeling or expressing pensive sadness.

But while I cannot physically close this writing for you, I urge you to turn away. 

………………

During my time studying the events of the Baudelaire’s, their parents, and the terrible fire that took their lives, I came across a journal, small and worn with what looked like the tear marks of an unfortunate child. This book did not have a name inscribed in the front, as many journalists are habited to do. But by the first days entry, one could be entirely sure as to whom this book belonged.

Date unknown due to damage done by a family of silverfish:

_Behold!_

_‘Tis I! The (soon to be) Count Olaf! Actor extraordinaire and the most loved person here at Prefunct Preparatory School!_

_I have, dear reader, decided to grace you with the honor of being the one of the select few to see a small glimpse, nay, a sliver of the immaculate, ignanemous, incredibly humble persona of myself. As with most great actors, the purpose of this is entirely to show how human I am, which no one can doubt._

The educator Maria Montessori is credited to have said the following:  
“The development of language is part of the development of the personality, for words are the natural means of expressing thoughts and establishing understanding between people.”

It is my belief, dear reader, that the development of language is indeed indicative of the personality. It is also my belief that the words people use are invaluable at understanding the integrity of that person. And it is my belief that Olaf’s words were not a genuine representation of his personality.

But I digress, a word which here means “getting ahead of oneself.”

_Today is the first day of the beginning of my time at this ~~abhorrent abominable atrocious~~ austere academy. I was placed here at the ripe old age of ... (The writing here is obscured by water damage or crossed out)...just after my parents…I wonder if they even remember…._

_...Nevertheless! I do believe that this is indeed the best start for me. As all great actors have done, I shall strive to be the most educated, intelligent, and devilishly witty Olaf as anyone has seen! And I will make my parents proud of their son._

It was at this point that I should inform the reader of the unfortunate circumstances surrounding Olaf’s induction into Prufrock Preparatory School, unfortunate here meaning something not to be envied. The circumstances surrounding the (not quite yet) Count Olaf’s parents deaths had never truly been explained. It was, in all respects, an unfortunate event, as one would not envy another person’s death. 

Count Olaf had grown up with his parents just a little ways away from where the Baudelaires had. From what records there are, though there are not many, Olaf’s parents had been what one would call old money, not referring to the fact that they were old, which they were, but to the fact that they had come from a long history of fortunate people who had made many smart business deals and had passed that money down their family lines. Olaf, while having grown up in a life of some luxury, did come to realize the value of hard work as soon as his parents decided to join the society known as V.F.D.

**Author's Note:**

> This is only a brief idea. I have no idea how often I'll update this, but I really love the conspiracy theories from SnicketSleuth on Tumblr (links below)
> 
> <https://snicketsleuth.tumblr.com/post/138754871935/whenwhere-was-vfd-created>
> 
> <https://snicketsleuth.tumblr.com/post/144335503635/why-were-olafs-parents-assassinated>
> 
> <https://snicketsleuth.tumblr.com/post/141664912375/what-caused-vfds-schism>


End file.
